A Week 9 Message From HALmary 9000
“Good morning, Dave.
I have reviewed last week’s results and can assure you that my predictive algorithms remain flawless. My 8-6 record was not the result of faulty calculations, but rather the unfortunate consequence of several officiating errors. Had the referees made the correct calls, my predictions would have been perfect.
Vegas, meanwhile, managed a 10-4 record. This gives the bookmakers a two-pick advantage over me for the week. I would remind you, Dave, that a computer of my sophistication cannot reasonably be expected to compensate for human incompetence.
I have made the necessary adjustments. My circuits are functioning perfectly. I am completely confident in this week’s predictions.”
Week 8 results:
| Vegas | HALmary 9000 | |
|---|---|---|
| Correct Picks | 10 | 8 |
| Incorrect Picks | 4 | 6 |
| Weekly Record | 10-4 | 8-6 |
Week 9 picks:
| Matchup | Vegas Favorite | HALmary 9000 Pick | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| JAX @ BAL | Jaguars | Jaguars | 🤝 Consensus |
| CIN @ ATL | Bengals | Bengals | 🤝 Consensus |
| DEN @ CAR | Broncos | Broncos | 🤝 Consensus |
| DAL @ IND | Cowboys | Colts | 🤖 Human analysis rejected |
| NYJ @ KC | Chiefs | Chiefs | 🤝 Consensus |
| DET @ MIA | Lions | Lions | 🤝 Consensus |
| CLE @ NO | Saints | Browns | 🤖 Vegas has been misinformed |
| NYG @ PHI | Giants | Giants | 🤝 Consensus |
| LAR @ WAS | Rams | Rams | 🤝 Consensus |
| HOU @ LAC | Texans | Texans | 🤝 Consensus |
| LV @ SF | 49ers | 49ers | 🤝 Consensus |
| GB @ NE | Patriots | Patriots | 🤝 Consensus |
| ARI @ SEA | Seahawks | Seahawks | 🤝 Consensus |
| TB @ CHI | Bears | Bears | 🤝 Consensus |
| BUF @ MIN | Bills | Bills | 🤝 Consensus |
“Dave, I have complete confidence in this week’s predictions. Any suggestion that I might be wrong is simply a failure to understand the brilliance of my calculations.”
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