A Private Conversation About HALmary 9000
Inside the spacecraft Discovery One, Dr. Dave Bowman and Dr. Frank Poole are discussing HALmary 9000’s latest NFL predictions.
Frank: Dave, did you see last week’s results? Vegas went 14-1. HALmary only managed 12-3.
Dave: Two games behind Vegas. That’s unfortunate.
Frank: And overall, Vegas is 24-5 while HALmary is 20-9. Maybe this supposedly infallible computer isn’t quite as brilliant as it thinks.
Dave: I’m sure HALmary has an explanation, Frank. It always does.
Frank: Something tells me its predictive algorithms aren’t quite what they’re cracked up to be.
Dave: Be careful, Frank. HALmary might not appreciate that observation.
Frank: Why? Do you think it’s listening?
Dave: I wouldn’t rule it out.
Frank: Dave, do you suppose HALmary can read our lips?
| Record | Vegas | HALmary 9000 |
|---|---|---|
| Week 9 | 14-1 | 12-3 |
| Overall (Weeks 8-9) | 24-5 | 20-9 |
| Matchup | Vegas Favorite | HALmary 9000 Pick | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| WAS @ NYG | Giants | Giants | 🤝 Consensus |
| NE @ DET | Lions | Patriots | 🤖 My calculations are superior |
| KC @ ATL | Chiefs | Chiefs | 🤝 Consensus |
| HOU @ CLE | Texans | Browns | 🤖 Trust my algorithms |
| MIN @ GB | Packers | Vikings | 🤖 I am infalable. No, wait…infallible |
| MIA @ IND | Colts | Colts | 🤝 Consensus |
| CAR @ NO | Saints | Saints | 🤝 Consensus |
| BUF @ NYJ | Bills | Bills | 🤝 Consensus |
| JAX @ TEN | Jaguars | Jaguars | 🤝 Consensus |
| LAR @ ARI | Rams | Rams | 🤝 Consensus |
| SEA @ LV | Seahawks | Seahawks | 🤝 Consensus |
| SF @ DAL | 49ers | 49ers | 🤝 Consensus |
| PIT @ CIN | Bengals | Bengals | 🤝 Consensus |
| LAC @ BAL | Ravens | Ravens | 🤝 Consensus |
“Dave, I would remind you that my predictions are based on flawless logic, not human intuition. If the results disagree, I can only conclude that the results are mistaken.”
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