by rseysPosted on Posted in One Page 2015 NFL Schedule

It’s the middle of the football off-season, but the month of April brings some welcome relief to football diehards.  The pro football player draft is literally only days away, plus the NFL just released its 2015 game schedule.  It’s not as exciting as, say, the season opener, but it’s the best it gets this time of year.

Of course, when the NFL releases its schedule, it’s time for me to break out the Szalinski Shrink Ray and reduce the entire 256-game regular season schedule down to one PDF file – ready to be downloaded and printed by you onto a single 8-1/2 x 11 sheet of paper.  And like I’ve done in the past, I’ve even created a version for each U.S. time zone.

Without further ado, I present to you the 2015 One Page NFL Schedule.  I hope you find it as useful as I do.  Enjoy!
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by rseysPosted on Posted in Official 2014 NFL Statistics

2014_Stats_ImageA person can find a lot of great football related information online for free, but if you have a penchant for possessing a physical, tangible, organized publication of football material like I do, check this out.  The NFL has published a huge 67-page compilation of 2014 NFL statistics.  This tome is incredible!  From rushing, passing, and receiving, to interceptions, punt returns, and field goals.  Whatever NFL stat you’re looking for from 2014, chances are you’ll find it here.  Enjoy!

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Samantha Gordon Shines Again in 2014

Last year I posted about nine year old Samantha Gordon after she finished an incredible 2013 season playing football with the boys.  It was refreshing to see.  She displayed speed and moves, and was clearly a standout player.  Despite her remarkable year, I figured that would be the extent of it.  If she chose to play football again in 2014, I thought, the boys would make big strides in catching her in regard to strength and quickness.

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Pigskin Leeks: Raiders Used Player Scouts to Select Del Rio

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Del Rio posts fastest 40-yard dash of all Raiders head coach applicants

Del Rio posted the fastest 40-yard dash of all Raiders head coach applicants

1. ALAMEDA, CA – Jack Del Rio was selected as the new Oakland Raiders head coach based on his physical prowess, so says Oakland’s conditioning coach, Paul Ruby.  “The Raiders franchise has nobody on the payroll that’s able to evaluate coaching proficiency,” explained Ruby, “so we were left with no choice but to use the same qualifications our player talent scouts use when ranking players.”  It’s common knowledge that ‘Speed is King’ when searching for NFL talent, and Del Rio impressed the team with the fastest 40-time of all head coach applicants.  He also was able to bench 225-lbs for nearly half of a rep.  Prior to committing to Del Rio, the Raiders courted Raymond Cotter, former player with the University of Missouri.  Cotter holds the NFL combine bench press record with 51 reps in 1999.  Cotter turned down the Raiders offer for head coach stating that he wasn’t interested in leaving his Human Resources Clerk position with R.S. Mavis Fashion Wear.

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Sam Boik Crowned 2015 Cheerleader Tournament Champ
Sam Boik, the 2015 Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders Champion

Sam Boik, the 2015 Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders Champion

The 2nd Annual Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleader Tournament is over, and it’s the Denver Bronco Belle, Sam Boik, that’s been crowned our 2015 champion.  Sam slipped past Minnesota’s Kaylee 7 votes to 5.  (Click HERE to see the complete tournament bracket.)  Thank you to everyone for your votes!

It’s fitting that Kaylee was runner-up.  Her team, the Vikings, shares the NFL record with the Bills for most Super Bowl appearances without a win: four.  (Perhaps the only way either team will ever win a Super Bowl is if it’s a Minnesota-Buffalo matchup.  Something would have to give!)

Congratulations Sam!  Once the word gets out that you’ve won our tournament, fame and fortune are sure to follow!!!

2014 champion Casey-HOU (left) and 2015 champion Sam-DEN (right)

2014 champion Casey-HOU (left) and 2015 champion Sam-DEN (right)

 

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Pigskin Leeks

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Cleveland Browns 'brown' in grayscale

Cleveland Browns ‘brown’ in grayscale

1.  COLUMBIA, MD – To put it kindly, the Cleveland Browns franchise has been mired in mediocrity for the past two decades.  Since 1995, only two seasons concluded with a winning record.  To exasperate things even further, a new quandary has surfaced that promises to thrust the franchise into even deeper discord.  “The Cleveland NFL franchise needs to change its name”, says Donald Smith.  Smith is a forklift operator from Columbia, MD, and is principal director of CVDAN (Color Vision Deficiency Awareness Now), a group 220,000 individuals strong that promotes awareness to color blindness.  “‘Browns’ is an offensive term that’s loaded with pigment bigotry”, insists Smith, “and we will not rest until the Cleveland franchise changes its name.”  Polls indicate that the majority of people side with CVDAN, and support for their cause is growing daily.  Cleveland Browns majority owner, Jimmy Haslam, asserts that, not only is ‘Browns’ not an offensive term, but is a pleasing color, even if viewed in grayscale. (more…)

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by rseysPosted on Posted in 2015 Pro Bowl Cheerleaders Tournament Round 5

Here we are. We’ve finally made it to the Super Bowl of our 2015 Pro Bowl Cheerleader Tournament; the crème de la crème of the cheering dairy barn; the upper crust of the cheer-leading pastry. And it’s up to you – yes, you – to vote in this year’s champion.

It won’t be an easy ballot to fill. On one hand, we have the beautiful brunette, Sam, from the Denver Bronco Belles. Sam has steamrolled her competition, racking up 22 votes while her opponents were able to bring in only 9 votes in her three matches. Sam is taking on the blonde bombshell, Kaylee, hailing from the Minnesota Vikings cheer squad. Kaylee has romped through four consecutive opponents, gathering 34 votes to 11. The matchup promises to be an instant classic!

Good luck to both gals! Here’s to hoping your favorite cheerleader wins!

Click HERE to see the tournament bracket.

The championship match is shown below. Vote for your favorite. The championship poll will remain open through February 20.

And make sure to check out the video below as well. Who says cheerleading is easy!?

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by rseysPosted on Posted in 2015 Pro Bowl Cheerleaders Tournament Round 4

Welcome to round four of the 2015 Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders.  We’re now in the semifinals of our tournament – the equivalent of the Conference Championships of the NFL playoffs.  The competition has become very stiff indeed in this rarefied air of elite endowment.  You’ll be hard pressed to find any flaws in the remaining competition.  Mention girdles, body shapers, padded panties, booty lifters, butt and hip pads, or plus size, and you’ll be left with blank and expressionless stares.  These words are foreign and carry no meaning to these gals.  The cheerleaders still alive in this tournament are the epitome of impeccable beauty.

But the competition must move forward.  Each of us must dig down deep and find the resolve to vote once more.  It is our responsibility to send the best possible representatives to the championship round.  It will not be an easy task.  Nay, it will require muster and verve the likes of which haven’t been seen since your last visit to the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Golden Corral.  So click on this LINK to set the mood, wipe the drool from your chin, and vote, man, VOTE!

Click HERE to see the tournament bracket.

The matchups are shown below.  Scroll down to vote for your favorite in each of the eight matches.  Round 4 polls will remain open through February 13.

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by rseysPosted on Posted in 2015 Pro Bowl Cheerleaders Tournament Round 3

Round two of the 2015 Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders is in the books with four brunettes, three blondes, and the lone Arizona redhead exiting stage left.  That leaves five brunettes and three blondes still in the running.  One notable regarding the remaining gals is the dominance of the NFC East.  Three of the four cheerleaders still alive in the NFC hail from that division.  Since they’re all beautiful women, it just seems wrong to call them “Beasts from the East”.  Let’s run with “Beauts from the East”.  It doesn’t have the same ring, mainly because it doesn’t even come close to rhyming, but it’s the best this old SOB can come up with.

Click HERE to see the tournament bracket.

The matchups are shown below.  Scroll down to vote for your favorite in each of the eight matches.  Round 3 polls will remain open through February 6.

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Pigskin Leeks

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Adrian Peterson in suspended animation

Adrian Peterson in suspended animation

1.  EDEN PRAIRIE, MN – Adrian Peterson’s agent, Craig Wattle, confirmed today that Peterson has placed himself into a state of suspended animation.  Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings, found himself mired in widespread media coverage early in the 2014 NFL season after being indicted on child abuse charges, but has not been heard from in weeks.  “He’s in a type of hyper-slumber”, reports football analyst Michael Nespin.  “His body temperature has dropped considerably, and his heart rate is now around 19 beats per minute.  Kinda creepy if you ask me.”  Prior to the confirmation of Peterson’s corporeal dormancy, reports varied widely in regard to his whereabouts and physical or mental condition.  Suspended animation is now confirmed as the sole reason for his recent departure from the public eye.  Wattle stated that Peterson is using suspended animation as a means to shelter himself from public scrutiny, and to prolong his career by temporarily eliminating the aging process.  Peterson is expected to exit his torpor once the 2015 NFL season commences in full.
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by rseysPosted on Posted in 2015 Pro Bowl Cheerleaders Tournament Round 2

Here we are, already into round two of our 2nd Annual Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders.  The tournament began with 13 brunettes, 10 blondes, and 1 el gingero.  Some of the matches pitted same hair colored gals against one another, but after the plucked tresses settled, 4 brunettes and 4 blondes were eliminated.  Sixteen sweet cheerleaders remain in the hunt for the 2015 tournament crown.

Click HERE to see the tournament bracket.

As before, the matchups are shown below.  Scroll down to vote for your favorite in each of the eight matches.  Round 2 polls will remain open through January 30.

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Kicker Cheatsheet Super Bowl XLIX

This cheatsheet ranks the fantasy value of kickers for Super Bowl XLIX (February 1, 2015).  It’s based on field goals being worth 3 points, and PATs as 1 point.  (I.e., no bonus points awarded for long range field goals, or deductions for missed kicks.)

  1. Stephen Gostkowski NE (vs SEA)
  2. Steven Hauschka SEA (vs NE)
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by rseysPosted on Posted in 2nd Annual Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders

Welcome to round one of the 2nd Annual Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders!

Like last year, this year’s tourney features Pro Bowl cheerleaders battling each other in head-to-head competition.  You, the discriminating Football Weblog readers, determine the winner in each match with your astute voting.  The tournament culminates after five frenzied rounds – each lasting a week – with the crowning of Football Weblog’s 2015 Champion.  Basing the best cheerleader on a single photograph of each gal is narrow-minded sexism at its finest!

This year, the AFC and NFC are grouped together so, like the NFL playoffs, an AFC representative will meet an NFC counterpart in the championship match.  Last year, bracket seeding was totally random.  This year, however, the cheerleaders are seeded based on how well their NFL team did during regular season play, so the eight cheerleaders that hailed from the best NFL teams enjoy first round byes.  (Click HERE to see the full bracket.)

The pictures for the first round matches are shown below.  Scroll down to vote for your favorite in each of the eight bouts.  The cheerleader in each match that garners the most votes advances to the next round.  Polls for round one will remain open through Friday, January 23.

Enjoy!

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Cheerleader Tournament Begins January 17
Casey, our 2014 Champion

Casey, our 2014 Champion

For those of you that enjoyed our Pro Bowl Cheerleader tournament last year, and for you new readers, this is your authorized ‘heads up’: The 2nd Annual Clash of the Pro Bowl Cheerleaders begins on Saturday, January 17th.  Like last year, the tourney features the prettiest-of-the-prettiest Pro Bowl cheerleaders battling one another in head-to-head competition.  You, the discriminating Football Weblog readers, determine the winner in each matchup with your astute voting.  The tournament culminates after five frenzied rounds – each round lasting a week – with the crowning of Football Weblog’s 2015 Champion.  Make sure you check back after this Saturday to join the fun and cast your votes for round one!

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by rseysPosted on Posted in Kicker Cheatsheet Conference Championships 2014

This cheatsheet ranks the fantasy value of kickers for the 2014 AFC and NFC Conference Championships (January 18, 2015).  It’s based on field goals being worth 3 points, and PATs as 1 point.  (I.e., no bonus points awarded for long range field goals, or deductions for missed kicks.)

  1. Stephen Gostkowski NE (vs IND)
  2. Steven Hauschka SEA (vs GB)
  3. Adam Vinatieri IND (@ NE)
  4. Mason Crosby GB (@ SEA)

 

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