Football Weblog’s 2025 NFL Schedules: Einstein Approved

Dearest Hans,

Summer has arrived in Princeton, and with it, my seasonal confusion regarding the NFL’s ever-shifting schedule. But today, I write not to lament, but to celebrate. I have encountered a document of such elegance, such improbable density, that I feel compelled to share it with you: the entire National Football League schedule, compressed onto a single page.

This marvel—crafted by minds no doubt touched by genius—contains every game, every week, every bye, every kickoff time. It is a feat of spatial compression rivaling the densest phenomena of our universe. Yes, Hans. While contemplating this very schedule, years ago, the notion of black holes first occurred to me. How could so much information exist in so little space? This schedule, in all its simple, glorious design, may be the closest thing to a black hole ever put in print. I suspect even light cannot escape its gridlines.

You must acquire one. Affix it to your refrigerator. Frame it above your hearth. Fold it neatly and carry it in your jacket pocket like a sacred equation, ready to consult whenever the mysteries of football time beckon. I enclose a copy, but additional versions exist for each American time zone. Truly, this is the unification of space, time, and American football.

Warmest regards,
Albert

To download Einstein’s favorite NFL schedule (or at least the one he would’ve loved), click the blue NFL Schedules button below—or select NFL Schedules from the Football Weblog menu.

Print it. Use it. Stare into it long enough, and you may feel time itself slow down—just as Einstein predicted.