Best Names of the 2013 NFL Player Draft

As I’ve been sifting through the players selected in the 2013 NFL Player’s Draft, I’m enjoying the unique names of some of the players.  Many names are new to me.  As much as I love football, I sheepishly have to admit that I don’t watch college ball as much as I should.  If I had more time in my day, I know I could get into it in a big way.  There are so many things about college football that I love.  Maybe this coming season I’ll draw my line in the sand and tune in to more games.

I thought I’d highlight a few of the player names that I found unique.  Sometimes you have to wonder what their mommas were thinking when they chose the name for their little bundle of joy.  Other times you wish you knew their parents so you could tip your hat in their honor and buy them a beer.  There are some names that were made for a footballer.

Barkevious Mingo (DE from LSU drafted by the Browns in the 1st round)
This name rocks!  Mingo is a very highly touted, explosive defensive end from LSU.  Most people call him Keke.  The name Barkevious conjures up images of a devious junkyard dog.  The last name of Mingo adds to the charm.  It all just rolls off the tongue.  Keke’s mom liked the name Kevious, but wanted to incorporate her name – Barbara – as well.  Bold move, mom, but I love it!

Starlite Lotulelei, Jr. (DT from Utah drafted by the Panthers in the 1st round)
How can you fail with a name like this?  Star has been stellar everywhere he’s been.  He was considered the Pac-12’s best defensive lineman last season.  Lotulelei (pronounced lo-too-leh-lay) is a native of the Tonga islands in the Southern Pacific.

Cordarrelle Patterson (WR from Tennessee drafted by the Vikings in the 1st round)
My very own Purple ended up with Cordarrelle Patterson (pronounced CORE-dare-uhl).  Patterson will be a starter for the Vikings from day one, and should be productive.  It will be interesting to see what the fans end up calling him.  The Vikings already have AP (Adrian Peterson), so I suspect people will follow suit and call Patterson CP.  Personally I’m going to refer to the guy as Corduroy Patterson.

Manti Te'o makes me think of a Manatee

Manti Te’o makes me think of a Manatee

Manti Te’o (ILB from Notre Dame drafted by the Chargers in the 2nd round)
Everybody knows Manti because of his infamous role in the fake girlfriend hoax.  It’s too bad Te’o wasn’t a fatty lineman because his name makes me think of a manatee, lovingly known as a sea cow.

Menelik Watson (OT from Florida State drafted by the Rai-duhs in the 2nd round)
A damned satisfying name to say.  Period.

Christine Michael (RB from Texas A&M drafted by the Seahawks in the 2nd round)
Seriously?  Christine is a girl’s name.  It would make sense if his daddy’s name were Johnny Cash.  Maybe that explains why the kid turned out to be a north-south runner that loves to administer a hit?

A Boy Named Sue, by Johnny Cash

Blidi Wreh-Wilson (CB from Connecticut drafted by the Titans in the 3rd round)
My favorite name of the entire draft.  When I first heard it, I thought the broadcasters called him “Bleeding” Ray Wilson.  Any relation to “Bleeding Gums” Murphy from the Simpsons?

That’s it.  Those were the names in the draft that stuck out for me.  It will be enjoyable to hear them repeated in the NFL season this coming autumn – or perhaps just as likely, “butchered”.

As always, run to daylight.


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